Nothing
by Slightly Sinister Sinestra
Summary: After ep 31 of SEED. Dearka isn't a POW and Athrun was found by the AA. Please R&R. On hiatus.
1. Nothing

Just saw a great film, felt inspired and wrote this. If you like it and review, I'll continue. So, tell me what y'all think!

Disclaimer: There are forty-something other fics of ours telling you this, Don't own!

_And so the waters and rivers of Egypt ran red, and were as blood._

Slowly, Mu descended into the ocean. Hitting the icey water felt like a punch in the chest. Why were they doing this? They had no idea who the body belonged to. They had no idea if the person was still breathing. They had no idea of anything, only that he'd ten seconds to retrieve this body and then get the fuck outta dodge. He didn't look at the wreckage on the beach. Meaningless death, that was what the grey bodies of those lifeless war gods symbolised. White for purity, red for blood, grey for nothingness. The pointless taking of innocent lives. Nothing! That was what a life was worth, what this war was worth, what death was worth, what...innocence was worth. Absolutly nothing!

Softly, he lifted the body out of the water. Not looking at the face, only at the soft rise and fall of the chest. It wasn't Kira. The body was clad in a ZAFT flight suit. So that unit had lost another member. Duel and Buster had retreated, both battered and broken. Leaving this member behind. Leaving this member in the arms of Old Boney. But what else could they have done? Nothing! Like everyone else, they could've done _nothing_! With difficulty, he made his way back to the ship. They needed to move. They needed to get out of here. They needed to leave this graveyard behind. Leave this ocean of blood behind. Leave their child behind.

The crew was gathered in the hanger when he climbed back onboard. Well, except the ship's pilots. Murre called them the moment the doors closed, and told them to move. They complied and the ship gathered itself together and ran headlong to nowhere. She then turned to him, her eyes asking the question for her. 'Is it Kira?' He shook his head and Kira's friends gasped. They had been so hopeful. A body detected in the water right in front of the battlefield, it had been so lucky. But it had been to much to hope. He layed the pilot down, at last taking a look at the face.

Beneath the shattered glass, was the face of a child. No older then Kira, or any other of the Helipolis kids. Wet dark hair was clinging to an equally wet forehead. But, when he removed the helmet, he saw no obvious injuries. No blood or lumps. Just the perfect face of a child whose eyes were closed because of pain. Murre knelt down beside him, looking at the boy. She seemed sad.

'The "Red Knight",' she mummbled, reaching out to touch the pale face, 'I didn't think he'd be this young.' Mu nodded. The boy groaned, shifting closer to the warm hand touching his cold face. The eyes squeezed themselves shut, unwilling to open, to leave the peacefulness of dreamless sleep away from pain. But the eyes wouldn't stay closed, they opened, squinting to focus in the bright light. Murre whipped her hand back and stood, trying to look stern. Mu stood up as well, standing beside her. The boy seemed to register his surroundings, and tried to rise, using his arms for support.

He fell back with a small cry of pain. Damage had clearly been done to one of his arms, or maybe both. But, determined to rise, the boy tried again. After a few minutes of struggling, he managed to get himself into sitting position. And he sat there, looking up at them. The slender frame was shaking, from cold or fear or both, Mu didn't yet know. And he doubted he ever would. The pale young face was working hard to remain blank. The boy was trying hard to look strong and defiant. But the tremors that kept running through his body ruined the image, as did the slight panic creeping into those green eyes. Mu felt the overwhelming urge to hug him, which was a really bad idea. He looked down at the boy, looking as stern as he could.

'What's your name and rank?'

Dearka was in complete shock. If he hadn't left Athrun in the locker room alone, if he'd kept an eye on the kid, then maybe the Aegis wouldn't have just exploded. If he'd stopped Athrun from going out, reported him ill or something and locked him in the infirmary, then maybe they could be celebrating Strike's destruction right now. If he had just done _something_!

Yzak's locker shut silently. There was no fit of rage this time. No yelling, no screaming, no nothing. Just utter silence because there was no-one to scream at. No calm presence, no soft voice, no Athrun, no Nicol, no Strike. Just nothing. He couldn't cry, he could hardly move. They had no-one left to blame. At least with Nicol there'd been someone to blame, someone to hate, someone to destroy. But not this time, because Athrun had taken vengance with his life. Athrun had done the destroying, had taken the revenge and left this silence in his wake. There was nothing left to do...but walk away. The life of one soldier meant nothing.

Mirella stared at the boy. At the childlike hunch of his shoulders and the drops running down his face. Drops of rain and seawater that may well have been tears. The angels were crying because of death, the skies screaming because of destruction. A life ended, many lives destroyed, and a boy sitting here in silence. Simple silence that meant nothing. He didn't move, didn't tell them his name, she guessed he couldn't. His face emptied, his eyes washed out and he smiled cynically as his eyes rolled and he fell again. Eyes half lidded, gazing through her, unseeing. As conciousness left those eyes, she felt tears prick her own. He told them nothing, because he'd nothing to tell. His crime was obvious. His hands were stained with blood. He'd taken the lives of Kira and Tolle.

They were soldiers, he was a soldier, worth nothing. Owning nothing, meaning nothing, unfeeling, uncaring, unjust. Just empty, just nothing. And at that thought, her mind filled with unspeakable rage.

Well? Please R&R.


	2. helpless

Hey everyone! This chapter is kinda different to the last one. But tell me what ya think anyway. And I know, I'm not moving foreward very fast with the plot. I'm just getting started and getting the characters settled in. Hope y'all understand. I'll move foreward next chapter, promise!

Helpless?

Walking up this time was diiferent. Less light, more of a headache and much less comfortable position. He groaned softly and tried to sit up. A wave of panic swept over him when neither of his feet or arms responded. _Shit! What's wrong with me? Why can't I move? What the hell happened? God, what the hell happened?_

Breathing heavily, he tried to move again, and registered the ropes. His heart slowed down some as he realised that he'd just been tied up. Then it sped up again as the problems of this made their way into his mind. It made him completely vunrable. An easy target for racist crewmembers. Swallowing, he willed himself to stay breathing. Losing control at this point was not a good idea. _So, assess the situation. This is just another training mission and if I lose it now then Yzak and Dearka are never gonna let me hear the end of it._

His left arm gave off a jolt of pain when moved. So that was the injuired one. No other damage appeared to have been done. His right hand was currently tied to his side as they couldn't tie his hands together and his feet were tied to each other. He still couldn't move and he couldn't see a way out. Neither hand was moveable and he wasn't going to get far crawling because of the injuiry. And no-one was coming to get him as they all thought him MIA. So, he was at the mercy of the EA.

A feeling of utter helplessness engulfed him. He was stuck here. And his father...his father! Well...was he proud? Did his father think his death a honorable one? Was he finally good enough? Or was the man just pissed off that he'd had to destroy the Aegis as well as himself? That thought struck him hard. So often now, his father had seemed so distant, and so disappointed. Did resorting to such extreme measures just disappoint his father more? Did his father even care?

Slowly, he shimmied up the wall into a sitting position and brought his knees under his chin. His arm jolted all the while, but settled to a dull ache once he'd stop moving. Resting his head against the wall, he closed his eyes and struggled to hold back tears.

Rau stared at the blank screen. He'd just finished contacting Zala about his son's death and the destruction of both the Aegis and Strike. The man had looked stunned, and tried to hide it. But it had been impossible to miss him glancing at a photograph on his desk. One obviously of his family. This blow had hit the man hard. Losing both a wife and a son to the war. Well, what way was the council going to go now? With a grief striken man at its head, would the order remain?

But back to the lose of Athrun. Yes, that was a setback. But at least Yamato had gone too. But he'd needed Athrun. The boy had been useful. So easy to manipulate. Oh well, Yzak and Dearka would have to do. And the two were so angry and upset, bending them should be easy. Now, time to tell them about there order to return to space. He smirked. _Oh Athrun, you don't know how lucky you were to die now. Fare well, my boy._

Athrun opened his eyes at the sound of the door opening. A young EA soldier stepped inside. Her blue eyes travelled the room, eventually coming to rest on him. They instantly sparkled with tears. He shrugged and shut his eyes again, although something told him that wasn't a good idea. But he was helpless in a fight situation anyway, so what did it matter?

Metal clinked somewhere beside him and footsteps started walking towards him. He opened his eyes again, just a fraction. It proved to be enough, as a second later he jerked his head back to avoid the knife, cracking his skull on the wall. A dull ache errupted at the back of his head, making him dizzy. Blinking stupidly, he gazed at her as she attempted another attack. Using his good shoulder, he pushed away from the wall and rolled off the bed. _Now that definitly wasn't a good idea!_ he mentaly bereated himself.

Pain burned it's way down his arm in addition to the throb at the back of his head. He squeezed his eyes shut, trying to will the pain away. More footsteps sounded, way too loudly for his sore head. Feeling sick, he opened his eyes and glanced up at the other occupants of the room. A blaring row was going on between them. The girl was screaming about Kira and someone else being dead. And about how she knew that the "scumbag on the floor" had killed them.

Realisation hit him. These were the people that Kira _had_ to protect. These were the pathitic naturals that Kira had chosen over his people. _The people that he chose over me._ Rage like he'd never known flooded him. He suddenly stopped caring that he was injuried, tied up and on their ship. Suddenly, all he cared about was screaming at these people and giving them a piece of his mind.

'If I deserve to die for killing your friend...then didn't he deserve to die for killing mine?' he found himself asking. The girl made another attempt to lunge at him, the boy grapped her before she got a step. Tears spilled down her face.'So they deserved to die? Is that it? They _deserved_ to die?' she shrieked.

'_Yes_!' he yelled back. 'They desereved it! Kira had no right to join this war! He had no right to kill Nicol on Miguel and assist in Rusty's death! And that skygrasper pilot had no right to get in my way. They were both idiots! Kira had no right to betray his people and fight against them in a war he knew _nothing_ about! And you...you know _nothing_ about losing people!' he could feel his composure starting to fray, and hysterics was starting to set in. 'You have no right to judge me! I did what I did because right now there is a mother crying up at the PLANTs because her _fifteen year_ _old_ son was killed! All he ever wanted to do was protect his family and people after _you_ and _your_ race decided to blow over _four hundred thousand_ of us straight to hell for _no_ reason! None of you have any right to decide my fate because all of your hands are as equally stained with blood! And your hands are stained with the blood of civilians! _You _took my _mother_! And _you_ helped take Nicol! If _anyone _deserves to die here, it's not me, it's _you_!'

He stopped at the metalic click of a cocked gun. The other girl in the room, the redhead, had found a gun and was pointing it at him. He froze in shock, and rolled over to face the barrel of the gun. It was small, but it would do damage. But she couldn't aim the damn thing, that was sure. She couldn't kill him, but he didn't want any more injuries.

He sighed and shut his eyes, preparing for the bang that never came. Instead another voice entered the mix. A much older male voice. The thudding voices didn't help with his growing headache. The voices didn't stop, and he squeezed his eyes tighter shut. His arm was still burning with pain.

Suddenly, someone snatched his good arm and pulled him unsteadly to his feet. He pulled his eyes open. A blod man was standing next to him. Another man slit the ropes around his ankles, allowing him to walk. The man pushed him out the door, past the three teens. The looked stunned and worried. He shrugged and let himself be lead away.

Walking felt good. Just being able to move properly felt good. It helped him feel free. Like he was still with his friends. A memory flashed across his mind. When Dearka had grabbed his arm and forced him to follow. Yzak had been bribed into coming as well, and the silver haired youth had been in a particulary foul mood because of it. Of course, Dearka hadn't anticipated them needing to run like hell. The dog wasn't meant to have been that foul tempered. He swallowed his laugh.

That seemed so long ago though. When the ability to be carefree had still existed. Now he was in a really bad position and laughing was not a good idea.

He was pulled into a side room. Two women were standing at the far wall, one a brunette, the other raven haired and both around mid-twenties. The blond officer didn't loosen his grip on his arm. The grip was almost painful.

'State your name and rank,' the brunette asked. He had a vague memory of someone asking him that before, but the memory was hazy. Everything was becoming hazy. His head really hurt right now, as was his arm. He answered the question.

'Ensign Athrun Zala,' he muttered. The women jotted it down. And then she said a list of names he didn't pay attention to. He was zoning out. The words the women said ran together, so he couldn't have answered the questions if he wanted to. The raven haired women began screaming at him after around twenty minutes. He winced, and the man behind him stepped foreward.

'We're not gonna get anything outta him. Lets just wait till we hit Alaska. I'm sure they'll get something.' The women nodded. 'Take him to the brig.' the brunette ordered. The man nodded, and Athrun again found himself being steered away. He didn't get two steps before he colasped.

OK, little Athrun isn't well. And is he actually an ensign? I'm fairly sure he is. So, R&R?


	3. Talk

Disclaimer: Look peeps, it's as simple as this! I. Don't. Own.

Hi everbody! Look, thanks for everyone tryin' ta help me figure out Athrun's rank, but he's gonna remain an ensign. And while we're on the subject, thank you all for your wonderful reviews!

Patrick Zala was not a man known for his passive nature, nor was he known for being forgiving. He was a powerful leader, with a love for his people, fueled by the desire to save them...and the rage of losing those important to him. He was known for going to the extreme to retaliate from a blow. And this time, the naturals had gone way to far.

Murdering his wife...that had been bad enough. Someone as beautiful, as kind and as loving as her did not deserve to die. She was an angel, his angel. And losing her had shaken him to the core. But now...those bastards had taken his son. They had taken his child. They had ended that life in the same brutal fasion as his wife. And they would pay. Operation Spitbreak...an attack on Alaska. And according to Creuset's report, the murderers that had destroyed his son were headed to Alaska. The perfect oppertunity...to destroy them. Destroy their center of command. Lead them right into his trap, a cat and a mouse. His child would be avenged.

Sai wondered if this day would ever end. They were two days away from Alaska. Two more days, he'd said to Milly, and they'd be rid of their guest. He'd be handed over to the goverment in Alaska, and they'd never have to see him again. Of course it would help if the boy woke up.

He sighed, looking down at the tray in his hands. Of course, the obvious choice to bring the prisoner his food was Flay, as she didn't work on the bridge, in engineering, or on the kitchen staff. Flay was the one to do the odd homely jobs around the place, like laundrey and such. The only one with a lot of time. But, like she had with Lacus, Flay refused to go near the ZAFT soldier. And this time, he didn't blame her. This boy was a trained killer. Which was why he was going down to the cell armed.

But also, the boy's name was Athrun Zala. The one Kira hadn't wanted to kill. Kira's formar best friend. Like all of them, Flay had liked Kira. Had cared about him, whatever she may have done, and found Kira's death at the hands of his best friend sickening. Sai tightened his hands on the tray. _"He had no right to kill Nicol...or Miguel and assist in Rusty's death!"_ Whoever these people were, they had been the thing to cause the current situation.

Athrun was awake, sitting up and glaring when Sai came down. He definatly looked like someone who'd been unwell. His pale skin had an unnatural sheen to it, the white clothes were clinging to his skin, and his hair hung tangled and straggling. But the green eyes, burning in the pale face, showed no traces of illness. The eyes of a wounded animal, cornered and confused. Willing to do anything, more dangerous then one at full strenght, because of sheer desparation. It was like standing in front of a caged tiger. And for once, Sai was glad of his weapon.

Carefully, he pushed the tray through the slot. Wasn't it said that even the most dangerous could be tempted by the offering of food? He chuckled at the thought, which caused the captive a moments confusion.

'What?' Athrun's voice was soft-spoken and emotionless. Sai stared at him. 'You act like some big cat. Prowling inside your cage, watching me. Are you afraid of me? Is that why you're watching me? Am I a threat to you?' The answer he got was the last one he expected.

'What...what's so dangerous about big cat?' Sai laughed again. The sheer obserdity of that question, and the fact it was a teenager asking it. Athrun looked vaguely offended, which made him appear younger...and less of a soldier. 'Well sorry, it is the first time I've been to earth! They didn't teach us that kind of thing on the PLANTs or the moon...' The boy stopped, swallowing.

Sai's eyes hardened. 'The moon? Was that where you met Kira for the first time?' he barked. Athrun nodded, looking away. Sai moved away, but only to sink into a sitting position by the wall. Athrun was silent for a few moments, before, 'How'd you know about me and Kira?'

Sai shrugged. 'A friend of ours over heard him taking about you. It really wasn't that hard. We could've worked out he was close to you ourselves because he never wanted to hurt you.' Athrun nodded.

'Killing him...was not what I intended to do. I guess...after Nicol...I just snapped.' Sai shrugged again. 'Well, the fact remains that you killed him. And Tolle, though he had nothing to do with the situation.'

The conversation went on in this thread for some time, meaning that Sai had skipped lunch and ended up eating some of Athrun's. The bluenette didn't seem to mind, after all, all he was doing was rearranging it on the plate. Eventually, Sai realised that it was nearly dinner time. And his shift was due to start in fifteen minutes. He stood, brushing dust from his trousers. Athrun was dozing off against the wall of his cell, tear tracks still visable on his face. He smiled softly and began to walk away.

'Sai?' Athrun called. He turned back. 'Yes?' 'What...what will happen to me now?' Sai looked down. 'You will be handed over to our superiouers in Alaska. After that, I'm not sure.' Athrun nodded, and Sai left him alone.

_After we hand you over...God knows what will happen. You've got information that they want, and they're gonna get it...by whatever means possible. I don't know...if you'll be excecuted or not, but...but...I don't want you...hurt._

Sai walked to his position on the bridge, sitting down next to Milly. She looked a real mess. He supposed she wouldn't even be here if she wasn't needed, her punishment was still on. She gave him a look which clearly said, "Where the hell have you been?" He shrugged, something he seemed to be doing a lot lately. She looked away, focusing on the control booth. He did too. It seemed wise for her to talk to Athrun before he was handed over. It seemed wise for some things to be straightened out. But judging by her face, he doubted she'd go.

Athrun knew he looked terrible. He knew that Kira would laugh at him if the older boy had been able to see him. And he knew Dearka would tease him and Yzak would use it in their never ending rivalry. Sighing, he ran a hand through his hair. His slender fingers caught in the tangles. He missed his team, he missed the friendly fights and petty arguements. He missed being with people he knew. People he could talk too, and he found himself wishing that someone else had been captured with him.

He shifted his position, causing his arm to jolt. He even wished that boy hadn't left. Just some company had been nice. And it had given him something to do. Boredom was setting in. He wasn't sure how long the boy had been gone, he'd slept for a while, but in that absence he'd counted everything in sight twice, moped about his current circumstace, wondered about what Alaska were gonna do and wondered how long he'd been out since his questioning. And now he'd offically run out of things.

And so, after staring at the celing for a while, he began to wonder how long it would take a man merely a millimeter high to walk across it. Eventually, he dozed off while working out the time frame of said man.

Murre sat in front of the screen. In only a few hours they would loose the prisoner, and hopefully be informened of ZAFT's movements. Only a few more hours, and a child would most likely loose his life. And something about that didn't sit right with her.

Alright, did that seem crap to anyone else? This chapter is really more of a filler before the fun really starts. Hope y'all will keep reading, and some advice wouldn't go astray either. And by the way, the millimeter man is a creation of my sister's. It's a cure for hospital waiting room type boredom. Just had to put it in.


	4. Child Soldier

Disclaimer: Don't own!

Hey guys! A really big thanks to all my reviewers! You guys are the best!

Chapter 4: Child Soldier

The sudden banging startled Athrun out of his slumber. Sai watched the green eyes, glazed over with sleep, narrow when he saw the EA soldiers Sai had with him. Members of the council, completely anti-coordinator. Slowly, and with grace that should have been impossible for an injured person, Athrun rose. Sai found himself envying the younger boy's movements. Grace and control that even Kira had lacked, it radiated power. And Sai had the distinct impression that Athrun was only doing that to spook the men. It was only freckin' obvious!

The door of the cell opened smoothly. Athrun stood there, his very being defiant. And it was working. The men approached him cautiously, as if afraid he might explode. It was a situation Sai would have laughed at under any other circumstances.

And then Athrun howled.

Sai looked up, startled. One of the men had grabbed Athrun's arms, broken one and all, and none to gently twisted them behind his back. His green eyes, instead of dimming, blazed angrily. And he suddenly looked like the caged tiger Sai had compared him too two days before hand. Dangerous, powerful and with an elegance most could only dream of. The foot darted back before anyone could comprehend the boy's change in stance.

Now it was the man's turn to howl. But Athrun wasn't done yet. One arm wrapped itself skillfully around the man's throat. The other man moved forward, but Sai got there first.

'Athrun,' he hissed, 'Athrun, let him go.' Emerald eyes, like empty tunnels leading to nowhere, flickered to him. No pain, no anger, no nothing. They held absolutely nothing. Sai felt fear ignite somewhere within him. This was not the boy he'd talked too, this was the soldier, the part that wasn't afraid to kill. The prince overcoming the child. And yet, Sai still stood in front of him. He hoped he was mirroring the image Athrun had just portrayed. Athrun looked completely emotionless.

Never the less, the arm slid off the man's throat. Sai noted with horror that it was his left arm, the injured one. And with a small cry, he darted forward to catch the ZAFT pilot. The two men looked beside themselves, and Sai knew Athrun would pay dearly. He looked down at the soft midnight blue hair. The muffled snap of metal startled him, but not as much as the feeling of something cool being pressed into his hand. He didn't dare look down, instead he gripped the object tighter. And then the two men pulled Athrun away.

Sai followed them, trailing a few steps behind. The object in his hand was an odd shape, and seemed to be folded. But how could you fold metal? Unless it was a chain. But why would a soldier have a chain? Athrun didn't glance back, but walked with a proud arrogance about him. Head held high, power oozing from him, Athrun made it perfectly obvious that he would give them no information, and fear for the boy's safety joined the fear of the boy himself.

Murre watched the two older men pull the boy up from the brig. Sai walked behind them looking utterly miserable. She didn't need to wonder why. Handing a life over to Old Boney and pain, that was something a child with no real experience could do without some regret. Hell, she regretted doing it.

Sai walked past her, and turned to stand just behind her right shoulder. His hand, she noticed, was clenched around something. Slight confusion swelled inside her, but she put it aside for now and turned back to the men. Horror erupted when she realized the boy between them had his hands tied behind his back.

'Sir, with all due respect, the prisoner has an injured arm. Why have you tied them behind his back?' The man snorted.

'Injured? The boy has just tried to throttle me. He has proved himself to be well capable of moving both his arms.' Her eyes widened, and she stared hard at the boy. He stared right back, eyebrows raised. The look said: "Well what did you expect?I only reacted to the situation" She shook her head and saluted the men. They pulled the boy off the ship. Well, that was one kid that wasn't coming back alive... Her insides squirmed guiltily. She was effectively putting the kid through hell herself.

With a sigh, she turned 'round. Sai glanced up at her, looking thunderstruck. She stared at him. And slowly, he held up the object he had been holding. She bit her lip, shock taking hold of her.

A rough chain dangled in front of her, two metal plates hanging off the end of it. The catch was broken. It had obviously been pulled off in a hurry. 'One to his army, the other to his family...' she muttered. So the kid knew...he knew he was a dead man walking. He knew...and still he had looked so calm? Sai looked at her.

'Why,' he whispered, 'Why give them to me?' She shrugged. Some other crew members were craning over Sai's shoulder to get a look at the item. The boy looked to be too deep in thought to care.

"You and your race decided to blow over four hundred thousand of us straight to hell for no reason! You took my mother!" Why? Why would you give this to me, Athrun, If you hated me so much? Why me?

He looked up at his captain one more time, and said with utter clarity. 'It was my friend he killed, so if anyone deserves to end his life, it's Milly, Kuzzey and I. And I don't think even he deserves that. I'm not going to let them end his life for no reason other then he wears a different uniform. I'm...I'm going to...'

Athrun winced as the soldiers pulled a blindfold over his eyes. One of them leant on his injured shoulder and whispered in his ear.

'You're gonna pay for that incident on the brig. When I'm through with you, we won't need a blindfold to hide our secrets from you.' Despite himself, Athrun felt a ripple of fear. Just maybe Sai would get his dog tags to his father. At least then the man would know that he'd survived long enough to say goodbye.

Well, too short. Yeah I know. Hopefully the chapters will get longer, as soon as my plot bunny stops having heart attacks when I go over two pages. Damn lazy rabbit. So anyways, R&R?


	5. Questioning

Disclaimer: Peeps, must I say it again?

Hey everybody! So, questioning chapter! Well, wish me luck?

Ch 5: Questioning

The room was a sterile white, like that of a hospital ward. Athrun shuddered, he didn't like that everything was white. His clothes, the room, his skin. The only thing that stood out was his hair. Hell, even that blindfold had been white. They were really setting themselves up...white for purity. Dressing him in white, that was like trying to wash the evil out of him. The evil only they managed to see, and they saw it everywhere, except within themselves.

The door swung open, the hinges creaking slightly. The sound assaulted his ears, so he had to work hard not to flinch. Footsteps sounded across the room, and he instinctively corrected his posture. "Straight back, chin up, eyes level with the other person. Blink freely, staring only makes you look childish. Be confident - not cocky. Be calm, don't look down, don't look away."

He recited the list mentally, feeling his heart slow. Reminding himself he was a soldier with an image to present somehow worked wonders in this situation. And he'd be damned if he'd lose his cool in front of this natural bastard.

The man took a seat in front of him. It was neither of the guards that had brought him in. Though he didn't doubt that they'd want to have some say in what became of him. It was true that he'd probably over-reacted, but the situation really had called for it. Pain does funny things to ones head.

The man that sat in front of him was neither tall nor thickset. Quite the opposite. Small and thin, not even slender, just thin. His uniform was in perfect condition, his light hair combed to perfection. Small glasses sat on his long nose. His face was clean shaven and he looked to be in his late forties. He was, all-in-all, the perfect example of how to demand respect when it's obvious you don't deserve any. Athrun hated him on sight.

The man steepled him short fingers, staring at him over the tips. His eyes were brown, and set deep in his face. A small folder lay on the desk. And Athrun knew exactly what it was. His files. The EA had used his name and scraped together any information on him. Luckily most of the files ZAFT kept on him, his reports and such, were almost impossible to hack. So, for the most part, he was safe. Just as long as he didn't let something slip. The man smiled.

'So, Athrun Zala, it is a pleasure to meet you.' The voice was simpering and high. A real suck up voice. Athrun found himself hating the man more by the second. God, how he wanted to punch that stupid face. He forced his mask to stay in place. The man toyed with a corner of the folder, his hideous eyes gazing almost hungrily into Athrun's green ones.

'There are some people here who would love to hurt you, Athrun, I heard you caused quite a scene in while you were being escorted here. Dear dear, what were you thinking?' The man shock his head in a condescending manor. Athrun forced back the string of words rising in his throat.

'Well, Athrun, I won't hand you over to those thugs if you comply and talk to me. Just a little chat is all. It's much better then having the answers beat out of you. And I trust you don't want more pain, because you will get hurt. Even a coordinator can't fight two on one tied up.' The man's smile widened. 'Oh, how's your father by the way? Being such a powerful political figure must be hard for him.'

Athrun stiffened slightly. The man was good, whatever his personality may be like. He had learned exactly what to hit. Because it wasn't exactly rocket science that Patrick Zala was not as sane as he once was. This was dangerous. Very dangerous. Those hungry brown eyes seemed to eat his reaction. Drawing the life away from him. Ugly soulless eyes pulling life and power out of people. A dangerous creature, because whatever this was, it was no human.

Sai stared at the celing of his room. Murre had completely denied him promission to go and get Athrun. But like hell he was leaving the boy in there. It was really about timing. When to move. Hell, he'd already helped Lacus escape from their clutches, one more time wouldn't hurt, and if it did, to hell with it. He tightened his hand around Athrun's dog tags, counting down the minutes to ten. Then he'd move.

Milly walked briskly through the dark corridors. She knew full well that Sai had no intention of obeying the captain. She also knew that the captain knew Sai had no intention of obeying her. And Milly would be damned if she let Sai go through with this alone. She'd no intention of losing any more friends.

Sai had just stepped out of his room when she arrived. He glanced at her, raising his eyebrows. She smiled at him, noting the chain clenched between his fingers. He really did care about that ZAFT soldier? Why? That was the boy who'd killed two of his friends. What the hell had the two of them talked about? And why hadn't Sai told her any of the conversation?

'Milly...there's no sense in you getting involved. Why don't you go back t...' Sai started, but she cut him short, glaring at him with as much anger as she could muster.

'Sai, I'll ask you not to be an idiot. I joined the army with you. I risked my life several times with you. Do you really think I'm gonna let you sneak into our base, rescue an enemy soldier who I happen to hate, and explain to the captain on your own? Come on, are you really that thick!'

He smiled at her, wrapping her in a hug. 'Thank you,' he whispered. She hugged him back, tears filling her eyes. She got the awful feeling that something was going to go horribly wrong.

The man stood. Athrun followed the clumsy movement, his eyebrows raised. What was that idiot thinking? Was he just gonna give up? The man caught the look, and smiled. One short hand reached across the table and cupped his face. The skin on Athrun's cheek instantly felt like it was trying to crawl away.

'Don't worry, dear boy, we aren't through with you yet. I'll be back soon. And I may have some people with me. I did warn you. If you didn't talk to me, we'd have to force the answers out of you. Such a pity, you have such lovely eyes.'

Athrun glared at him, hiding the fear rising in the pit of his stomach. This man scared him, much more then the prospect of what was to come. He could handle physical torture, but not this man with his terrible soulless eyes.

Getting off the Archangel proved to be the tricky part. Milly had managed to download a plan of the base from her computer and between them they'd judged roughly where Athrun should be. She sighed, running a hand through her hair. This was possibly the stupidest thing they'd ever done, but what the hell.

Sai was walking in front of her. He looked worried as well. She was still confused about his feelings for the ZAFT pilot, apart from his obvious worry. Maybe she'd ask them both when they got back.

If they got back.

Athrun knew that fighting back against these men was stupid. He couldn't win. But still, it was hard to control his reflexes. And so far, the mens knuckles were getting as much punishment from the back of the chair as he was from them. But that was only proving to piss them off further.

The small man was still there, watching the display. After a few minutes, he walked forward. One of the guards moved off to the side of the room, the other moved behind the chair. Athrun glared at his questioner, his mouth shut and his head cocked arrogantly. The man raised his eyebrows.

'Still defiant? Dear boy, tell me if this is really worth it. No-one will know that you betrayed ZAFT. As far as I've read, your dead in their books anyway. So what harm would it do for your reputation if a dead man told us ZAFT's movements.'

Athrun smiled. 'Dead men tell no tales.' he said, his green eyes twinkling.

The man shrugged and nodded to the man standing behind the chair.

With surprising speed, the man's thick arm wrapped around Athrun's neck, pulling him up a bit off the chair. Athrun gasped out of shock, and the man leaned forward to whisper in his ear.

'Payback time, kid.'

Cool metal was placed against his cheek, and then drawn up towards his eye slowly. Sharp pain errupted and he bit his lip to stop himself screaming. They something crashed in the corridor with such force that the floor shook. All four occupents of the room looked round, staring at the door warily.

The man jerked his head and the two guards followed him out into the corridor. Athrun smiled, ZAFT was still safe, despite everything. Would his father be proud of that? The door reopened, and he looked around, expecting the three men back.

Instead, blue eyes stared at him from behind small round glasses. He relaxed against the chair.

'Sai...'

Well, constructive criticism welcome. Hope y'all enjoyed it! And if I did a shit job, tell me so I'll know the next time I try to write a questioning scene. You never know, I might, stranger things have happened. OK, excuse the ramble. R&R?


	6. Escape

Disclaimer: Y'all know this by now.

Hey peeps! So, another update. Thanks a lot to all the reviewers! You guys are the best!

Chapter 6: Escape

Sai stared as Athrun's shoulders slumped slightly. It was amazing how much of a differance that made to his over-all appearence. But now was not a good time to waste time. He ran forward and grabbed Athrun's arm, staring at the damage in disgust. The normally white skin was stained varing shades of blue and purple. Athrun followed his gaze, and shrugged. The cut on Athrun's cheek stopped bare millimeters below his left eye. Sai smiled, they had been in time. Though he'd never seen eyes that could empty out so fast, they really were the most beautiful shade of green he'd ever seen. And they were definitely the saddest. Not tearful, just...sad. They were...simply beautiful, like the ocean. So deep, sad and deceptivly empty.

Athrun met his eyes and jerked his head towards the door. Sai nodded, and pulled the the younger boy to the door and out into the corridor. Athrun glanced up and down. The place was empty.

'Where...where are the three men?' he asked, his voice coming out a croak. Sai smiled. 'When you give a royally pissed off Mirella Haw a gun and let her off, there are few survivors.' Athrun smiled as well, causing his face to soften. And then he was the prince again.

'So where do we go now?' Sai chuckled nervously, looking down. Athrun sighed. Sai glared at him. 'But I think it's this way...' he said and then pulled the ZAFT pilot down the left corridor before the boy could protest.

Sai was stunned. Athrun was way stronger than him. If the younger boy wanted to stop him and make him explain, then he could, and easily at that. But Athrun didn't put up a fight, he just went where Sai pulled him with no complaints. The ZAFT pilot trusted him, the boy who'd caused his best friend to turn on him. The boy who'd helped push him to attempt suicide. An EA soldier who'd spouted accusations at him without knowing both sides of the story.

He clenched his fist around the dog tags, so hard that it cut into his palm. And then Athrun's shoulder rammed into his back. He stummbled forward into a doorway. Athrun staggered past him and fell with a barely surpressed groan. He glared down at the pilot. Tiredly, the boy jerked his head at the corridor. Footsteps sounded all to clearly a few feet away from him. Startled, he yanked Athrun to his feet and pressed the boy to the door, concealing the enemy soldier...and hopefully hiding himself as well.

Athrun's hair tickled his cheek. Well, this probably looked weird. Athrun was staring at him with slightly widened eyes. They were so close, their lips bare inches apart. No wonder Athrun was nervous. Sai felt the same way. But ... for some reason, it didn't feel bad, just strange.

'Wasn't Athrun in that room we caused the diverson outside of? Well then I've no idea where he is!' A female voice said, sounding worried. Sai looked around. Milly was standing behind him, gun in hand. He sighed in relief and stepped out of the doorway. Athrun stayed where he was, apparently to stunned to move. Milly's jaw dropped. Sai blushed slightly.

'We heard someone coming. I had to hide him,' he muttered, in explanation. The girl nodded, still gazing at him in stunned amusement. Athrun pushed himself out of the doorway, grunting in pain. Sai grabbed his arm again, and began pulling him down the corridor, Milly behind them. The corridor only went for another few meters, before the three teens skidded through an open door.

The room was enormous. A high ceiling, made completely from metal and with a few odd planes scattered around. And there, standing next to one, was a tall blonde man in obvious panic. Mu le Flagga spun round when they entered, his eyes widening when he saw them. He then ran over to them.

Sai opened his mouth to explain when Mu reached them, but the man ignored him. Instead, he grabbed Athrun's shoulder and spun the boy around, using his free hand to take Milly's gun. The two young soldiers instantly began to protest, and again the man ignored them. The shot rang around the hanger.

When Sai opened his eyes, Athrun was standing in front of Mu still very much alive. His hands were free, one of the rings of the hancuffs was still on his wrist, but the chain was gone. Metal littered the ground under Athruns feet. Sai felt his jaw drop, and he glanced at his superior. Mu was still gripping Athrun's shoulder.

'Can you fly one of these things?' he barked. The younger pilot stared at him, his eyes blanks once again. He nodded. Mu looked relieved, and then turned to Sai and Milly. 'There is a bomb planted in this base that will take out everything within a ten mile radius. We gotta get back to the Archangel and warn them. Skygraspers can take a max of two people. So Sai, you go with Zala, and Mirella, you come with me. Clear?' They nodded, stunned.

Athrun didn't move. Instead he glared at Mu. 'How do you know you can trust me? I might simply decide to run and take this boy hostage.' His voice help no threat, it was just a blank nothing like his eyes. Mu spun, towering over the ZAFT pilot.

'Do that and I'll take you down,' he snarled. Athrun continued to stand. 'And kill Sai, I don't see you doing that. And also, what makes you think you can shoot me down? You never could take any of us down, and I'm much better then Dearka.' Sai put his hand on Athrun's shoulder.

'You won't run. You owe us. And besides, you don't want to, do you?' The boy glanced back at him, eyes like chips of green ice. And then he turned to a skygrasper. Mu handed Sai the gun. 'Keep him under control,' the man whispered, before heading to a skygrasper as well.

Sai crouched behind the pilot's chair, feeling the machine power up beneath his feet. A feeling of uncontrollable fear ignited in his stomach. This was not going to go well. Mu was taking off ahead of him, the beautiful plane sweeping out into the sky. And then it was their turn. Athrun slammed the accelarator and Sai fell back from the force. Pushing himself up, he glance out the window. The battle going on around him was nothing but a sea of explosions and light. He winced, he had never been this close to the fight before. He glanced at Athrun. The boy looked completely at home behind the controls of a weapon. And again Sai felt that fear.

Murre Raimus did not like the way this battle was going. They were being completely overrun, despite the size of their forces. They needed a miracle to save them. Sighing, she glanced at the empty chairs belonging to Sai and Mirella. Those two stupid teenagers. Didn't they realise they were needed? And then she saw the young face with bright green eyes. The small chain in Sai's hand. That boy had needed them as well. And probably more urgently. She sighed again. Just as long as the two made it out of this alive.

The door of the bridge opened suddenly. Murre took her eyes off the screen, looking around in surprise. 'Well speak of the devil,' she muttered, as Sai and Mirella ran onto the bridge, hurridly saluted, and took their places. And from behind them came the ZAFT soldier and a man she thought she'd never see again.

'Mu...' she gasped as he ran up to her. He looked worried and angry. 'Take this thing outta here!' he shouted. She stared at him, opening her mouth to reply. But he waved her into silence. 'Look, there's a bomb planted in the base. If it goes off then everyone within a ten mile radius is dead. The EA betrayed us! They're using us as bait for ZAFT,' Mu broke off as Athrun yelled, 'What?'

Murre glanced back at him. The slender frame was rigid with surpressed anger, the sleeves of his tee-shirt stretched tight as his muscles tensed. She felt guilt swell in her gut again. Her race was bent on driving this boy's people to extinction, and she was helping them. She took a deep breath. She was not going to let her crew die, nor was she going to participate in murder any longer.

'Turn the Archangel around, we're getting outta here!' she yelled. The pilots nodded and the ship gathered speed. It didn't get more then two feet when a familer MS appeared in front of them. The Duel. 'This is for Athrun and Nicol,' the pilot yelled. Murre bit her lip, knowing her death was coming. The crew all looked so disappointed, crestfallen. She sighed.

Athrun collapsed to his knees with a thump. She spun to stare at him. Small drops of blood were dripping onto the floor. 'Damnit Yzak!' he yelled. 'Why the hell are you doing?' She stared at him, watching his dark hair spill haphazardly around his face. He looked so helpless. The explosion caused them to stare at the screen. Athrun's jaw dropped as the Duel fell off its support craft.

She winced as his startling eyes filled with tears. 'Y..Yzak?' he whispered, watching another commrade fall. Then intense relief filled his face as Buster flew by holding the Duel. She couldn't help but smile.

But her face changed to shock as a familer voice sounded through the bridge. 'Cpt Raimus, are you alright?' Murre stared at the screen where a new MS had appeared. She could feel Athrun move up to stand beside her. 'The Freedom? I didn't think it had been completed yet...it was only blue prints when I last saw it...' he muttered. Murre didn't spare his words a thought, instead she contacted the pilot.

'Kira,' she asked disbelievingly. A face appeared on the screen, wearing the ZAFT flight suit, brown hair framing the slightly baby face of Kira Yamato. All of the crew on the bridge smiled. Athrun didn't, instead an ugly frown marred his features. No-one noticed. Kira didn't even glance his way.

Kira took the information in his stride, and contacted all the soldiers in the area. Athrun shook his head, still scowling. 'You can't play the hero all the time, Kira,' he growled, his green eyes blazing. He clasped a hand to his arm, trying to ease the pain. 'In fact, for most of this war you haven't been anything but a tool to destroy. And you were so caught up in trying to be a hero that you didn't notice. And now your army's betrayed you.'

Murre glanced at him, shocked at his bitter tone. This was his best friend, right? She shook her head as they ran headlong from the explosion, Kira behind them dragging a ZAFT MS behind it.

The pilots soon brought the Archangel down. The shocked crew turned to run to the door, Kira's friends in the lead. She ran after them herself, after grabbing Athrun, causing the boy to wince.

Kira watched his comrades pile out onto the ground, dust rising at their feet. And he smiled. But then he saw the boy standing behind Murre. Dark hair, usually well kept, hanging in a mini explosion, framing a face caked with blood. The familer green eyes gazing so bitterly at him. 'Athrun,' he gasped as Sai moved to catch the boy as he fell.

Well, any good? Please R&R?


	7. Who are you?

Disclaimer: I don't want to say this again. I don't own, y'hear!

Hiya everybody! Right, this chapter is kinda angsty fluff, hope ya don't mind. And could someone tell me if I do OK fluff. I don't do it that often. And another thing, Athrun may be a bit OOC. I kinda need to have him yell and cry a bit. Hope no-one minds. Anyways, on with the story.

Chapter 7: Who are you?

Sai's arms once again closed around the ZAFT pilot. And once again, Athrun didn't fight him off. Just glared bitterly in Kira's general direction. The boy in question was suddenly looking arkward. He laughed nervously.

'You look as bad as you did when you feel out of the tree that time,' he muttered. Athrun stiffened in Sai's arms. 'I only feel out of that tree because you decided that the branch was strong enough to hold both of us. You were lucky my father didn't kill you,' he spat back. Kira stiffened as well. And then he attempted to smile.

'Yeah, guess you're right. He was pretty mad.' Athrun laughed, the sound cold and bitter. 'If you think he was mad then, you should see him now. You made him so disappointed in me, you know that? I got some lecture for not destroying Strike. I think he thought I was a coward, and maybe I was. Maybe he was right in his disappointment. Maybe I was wrong, but that didn't stop it hurting. You're so lucky Kira...you don't know how much it hurts to see the person you want to protect glare at you as if you've caused them eternal shame.'

He stopped, suddenly looking so much smaller. 'You don't know how much it hurts to not get a chance to explain because that person is your superiour and can tell you to shut up, knowing you'll have to obey. You don't know what it's like to be second best to your race, even though you're that person's son. You don't know, and you'll never have to. Because you've got a home and loving parents to go back to. You have friends. You are not really part of the conflict that is causing so many families to become broken. You don't know what it's like to live in constant fear that your family and friends will be killed for no other reason then they're slightly different. You don't live in fear of a repeat Bloody Valentine. You have natural parents and natural friends who'll vouch for you in any situation. All I can do is take the blows. You abandoned your race, Kira, and you abandoned me. Keep your pretty life, and play the hero all you want, but don't expect to be forgiven.'

Kira stood, frozen in place. To stunned to speak, he simply gaped like a fish out of water, tears filling his eyes. Athrun Zala had never sounded so cold, never so broken. Hysterical, yes, angry, yes, upset, yes. But never so...so...so shattered. Athrun remained where he was, head resting against Sai's chest, a single tear sliding down his face, cutting a pale streak through the blood. He clenched his fists, fighting the urge to cry.

'A...Athrun I...' He cut his sentance short as Athrun's eyes rolled and Sai staggered back as Athrun's full weight fell on him. Murre darted forward, Mu behind her. Kira simply watched, his apology still on his lips. Sai left the two older soldiers to care for Athrun, and walked up to him.

'Kira...he...well...he's had a rough few days,' Sai mummbled, pushing his glasses back up his nose. Milly appeared behind him, nodding. Kira shrugged, and tried to smile. Milly wasn't having any, and wound her arms around his neck in a tight hug. 'He may be upset and angry, but a lot of what he said was uncalled for,' the girl whispered, 'He's looking at it from a totally onesided point of view.' Kira hugged her back, tears sliding freely down his face.

'I know, Milly. But what if he was being truthful? What if his father is being like that? Uncle Patrick can get really angry somtimes. And in our youth, we'd get into all sorts of trouble. And Uncle Patrick flew at him. He never cried though, he used to say I cried enough for both of us. But the scary thing is, Athrun and Uncle Patrick were also really close. Uncle Patrick didn't abuse him...just wanted him to be a good kid. If he really is abusing his position and not giving Athrun a chance to explain...' Milly tightened her hold on him, and whispered for him to calm down, that Athrun was exaggerating because he was upset. And Kira really tried to believe her.

Mu had never quite seen a reunion like that one. Athrun groaned softly as they went up a step and the stretcher bounced slightly. He sighed, disgusted by the abuse his army had done to a child. Only one pale streak cut through the maroon coloured blood. One streak, one tear. Kira would probably cry more then enough later. He sighed again, at least Kira took the time to cry. This boy had been at this game to long, and used up his tears before hand.

Murre walked beside him, watching the prisoner with widened eyes. And, dispite everything, he smiled. She looked adorable when shocked. She was beautiful anyway, but more so now. And without thinking much about his actions, he slipped a comforting arm around her shoulder. She glanced up at him, and placed her hand above his, leaning in against his shoulder. He smiled. _Hey, and all it took was a severally fucked up enemy soldier._

Milly and Sai lead Kira back onto the ship, and to his room. And there, sitting on the bed, was Birdy. Tears leaked down his face once more at the sight of the friendship token. Milly gave his shoulder a squeeze and left. Sai turned as well, but stopped.

'Your friend, Athrun, h...he's nice. A little...well...a little unhinged...but nice.' Kira stared at his friend, birdy hopping around on his shoulder. He had only known Sai for just over a year, but he could tell that meant a lot more then "nice".

'Sai...' he whispered, stunned.

Yzak stared at Dearka, stunned. 'What is this?' he breathed. The blonde boy turned to face him, a grim smile played around his face. I tried to contact the Legged Ship, to see what they were doing. It was a battle, and they were retreating. Call it impulse, but all I got was a bunch of paniced words, and this...'

Yzak listened closly to the transmission, and in the midst of the panic and static, he heard his own name being yelled. He turned to his friend, stunned.

'You're kidding!'

Yes, yes, I know, another short chapter. I really shout try to make them longer, but I just can't. Oh, and the Uncle Patrick thing, I just feel since he and Athrun were so close, he wouldn't call him Mr Zala. Yeah, that's just me. Anywho, watcha all think?


	8. Friend or Prince?

Disclaimer: Don't own!

Hiya! Thanks an awful lot to the reviewers, I love you guys! Well, Dearka and Yzak finally come back in. Yeah, kinda neglected them for a while. Anyways, enjoy!

Chapter 8: Friend or Prince?

'You're kidding!'

Dearka laughed softly. 'Unless my comunicator's gone completely haywire, that's Athrun Zala's voice. I don't kid about my commrades coming back from the dead.'

Yzak stared at him, shaking his head in stunned disbelief. 'B..but the Aegis exploded, we both saw it. He didn't have a chance to get out. _He didn't give himself a chance to get out. So how the hell did he_!'

Dearka shrugged. 'I have no idea. But that aside, we gotta show this information to Commander Creuset. There is a good chance Zala's still alive. The EA didn't kill him in Alaska. Why is beyond me, but they're gonna kill him sooner or later. We've got to get him out before it's too late.'

Yzak nodded. 'Yeah, we'll get him out of their grasp, then I'm gonna wring his neck!' Dearka laughed. 'I'm sure Zala will be pleased to know that your relationship hasn't changed since he went MIA.' Yzak pointedly ignored this and flung his stuff in his locker.

So, the relationship hadn't really changed. So Athrun was still annoyingly good at everything - even cheating death. That didn't stop him being relieved, and even more worried for the younger boy's safety. As soon as Zala was back, safe with them, he would kill him.

Athrun ran a comb through the tangles in his hair. His appearance was slowly returning to normal. He didn't look like a prisoner anymore. No, now he looked like he'd been in a fight. Which, in all honesty, he had been.

Sighing, he traced the cut on his face. It was deep, and would most likely scar. And these naturals didn't have the technology to stop it. _Great. Now all we need is for Dearka to get a facial scar and we're a matching set._ His heart clenched at the thought of his commrades, and of the fact they'd nearly died. All because Kira _had _to play the hero.

There was a loud rap on the door. 'Hey Zala, what are you doin' in there?' The blonde officer that had 'saved' his life. He sighed again. They really thought he could do damage in the shower room? One: he didn't have any pockets to hide anything in, two: there wasn't anything in here and three: how could he make anything in just over twenty minutes?

'I'm making a weapon of mass destruction out of shampoo and empty bottles, what else?' he called back through the door, suddenly sounding more like Dearka than himself. He shook his head and walked to the door.

It slid open to reveal the man standing in front of him, blocking his exit. He looked up at the man, and was surprised to see him looking angry.

'Listen kid,' the man growled, 'we were nice enough to take you in. We even saved you, going against our superiours to do it. We've treated you well, so there's no need for you to throw around remarks like that. Got it?'

Athrun quirked an eyebrow. 'Really, and why not?' It wasn't a challenge, no, now he was back to himself. It was simply a question. The man sighed.

'Just because you're a coordinator...that doesn't mean I hate you. I was asking to see if you were OK, it wasn't a challenge. I don't suspect you of anything. Why would you think I did?' Athrun stared at him, his usual mask in place, save for the still raised eyebrow. The man shrugged and turned.

'Why do you hate me so much? Why do you hate my race so much?' Athrun heard him mutter. He growled. 'Because I saw families standing in a church yard crying because people they held dearly were killed for no reason,' he shot at the man. Hostilaty flashed between them, and the man turned.

'Your friend Kira managed to forgive us,' he pointed out. Athrun squared his shoulders, struggling to keep his mask in place. The man went on, not giving him a chance to reply. 'Whatever you think Kira has done to you, he did it all because he believed it was right. Can you say the same?'

Athrun met his eyes. 'Kira...Kira didn't understand anything. He still doesn't. He did what he _thought_ was right. He keeps _trying_ to be the hero. But in reality, he's just a kid who cries too much and thinks too little. He keeps saying that he has to protect his friends. As if that justifies it. As if that makes it right. I _was_ his friend, and he pretty much told me I wasn't anymore.' Athrun paused, and then whispered, 'And I still can't hate him.'

The man sighed. Athrun shook his head and tried to put the mask back on. 'Talk to him.' The man said blankly. 'And without screaming at him,' he added. Athrun sighed. If only it were that simple... The man seemed to sense his misgiving, and grabbed his arm. Startled, Athrun tried to pull away, but found himself being led down the corridor.

Kira stared down at his food. It looked good, but he couldn't bring himself to eat it. Athrun's words were still ringing in his head, along with what Sai had said. Now that was confusing...because Sai didn't seem the type...and Athrun was engaged...and Sai wasn't even sure if Athrun returned his feelings...which he probably didn't.

Birdy suddenly took off from his shoulder, startling him. The small robot circled him once and then flew to the door. With a cry, he jumped up to give chase, and saw there was no need.

Athrun Zala was standing in the doorway, staring at the bird currently flying around his head. Athrun smiled and held up his hands. Kira felt a sad smile curve on his lips as Birdy settled on Athrun's outstretched hands, exactly the same way it had on that faithful day so many years ago. The same memory seemed to have occured to Athrun, as his smile faltered.

Kira sighed and walked up to the boy. The coldness of Athrun's voice the last time they'd spoken rung in his ears. The icyness as he said that he could never forgive. And all the accusations. Had Athrun reconsidered? Was he ready to forgive...or at least hear him out?

Kira looked hopefully into his friends face, praying to see some flicker of forgivness, praying that he'd at least meet Athrun Zala and not the Prince. Athrun held Birdy out to him.

'You'll be coming to the PLANTs soon too, huh Kira?' he whispered. Kira looked sadly down at the bird. And then answered. '...No...' Athrun looked away, tears filling his eyes. 'I knew you wouldn't...'

Kira sighed. 'Why don't you come back to Orb. Why don't you make Earth your home.' Athrun shook his head. 'I can't,' he said. Kira took his friends shoulders. 'Why not?' he sobbed. Athrun met his eyes. 'For the same reason that you can't come to PLANT. You play the hero, Kira. And let me try to mend what's left of my home. They,' he gestured around the room. 'They need you. You don't need me.'

He still sounded so broken. Kira swallowed, and hugged his friend. 'At least see the end of the war through with me. At least realise that ZAFT are as corrupt as the EA.'

Athrun pushed him away. 'Let me speak to my father first.'

Well, what ya think? Please R&R?


	9. Misunderstandings

Hi everyone! Nobody kill me! I know I haven't updated in ages! I'm real sorry! Writers block, it's evil I tell you! EVIL! Anyway, thanks to all my reviewers! You guys are the best!

Chapter 9: Misunderstandings

_Alive? He's alive?_ 'Commander Creuset, what information do you have to support this? And it had better be good. We're still reeling from Operation Spitbreak! We have enough on our plates without having to deal with claims supported by nothing!'

Commander Creuset's face curled up in a smile. Patrick felt his blood presure rise, and he glared at the younger man angrily. Seemingly taking the hint, the commander ducked his head and Patrick heard the distinct sound of tapping keys. 'I'm afraid we don't have much, Chairman. But we do have enough to support the theory that young Ensign Zala is alive.' Creuset lifted his head again. 'One of my team recorded this at Alaska.'

One final click of a button and the sound of static filled the room Patrick raised his eyebrows and opened his mouth, when a voice sounded through the noise.

_"Dam... Yzak! What ... hell ... doing!"_ His breath hitched. That voice... quiet and soft, even when its owner was yelling. There really was no mistaking it. His son, his little boy, was still alive, and in the hands of the enemy. They had kept him on the ship. They had still wanted to use him. Which meant they had know about the target of Spitbreak beforehand. Which meant that bomb in the base _had_ been set beforehand. Had Athrun given them that information? That wasn't likely. Athrun hadn't been given the details on Spitbreak. He hadn't known...

Rau watched the chairman with interest. Dearka's discovery was ... interesting, to say the least. It proved that Athrun's desire to live was strong. And it also proved that the crew of the Legged Ship either cared... or merely wanted something to abuse. And it was obvious which conclusion the chairman would come to.

'Commander Creuset! Ensign Zala may let something slip to the EA. I do have faith that he will not tell deliberatly, but who knows what means those naturals use to get information. It could be catastrophic if even the smallest piece of information gets out. Therefore, I want you to take him back. Destroy the Legged Ship if need be. And ... and kill Ensign Zala if no other options are available.'

Rau nodded and shut the link. Patrick sighed and slumped back in his chair. Athrun smiled up at him from the picture on his desk. Slowly, he reached out and touched the glass, running his finger along the smooth flawless face. God knows what those monsters had done to it, what condition that face would be in. That face was so much like Lenore's. Maybe now... maybe now it would look the way her's had, before... before the explosion had completely consumed her. Maybe now he would have to look at Lenore's dead face, on his son's living body. Or maybe he would just have to look at two gravestones. And stand on empty graves.

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Mu slipped a comforting arm around Murrue's shoulders, feeling the slight tremors running through them. Zala had left only minutes ago. The boy's face had been carefully blank, but for a fleeting second, emotion had passed through the emerald orbs. And it hadn't been anger. Nor was it fear, although that was closer. It was really the look of a child that had lost its mother in a train station or something. A look of abandonment, loneliness, with that small sprinkle of strange curiosity.

The eyes of a child that wanted his father. And they had denied him permission. They had left him standing in the lobbie, with nowhere to go. Murrue glanced up at him, tears glinting faintly in her eyes.

'He... he really is... only a child. Isn't he?' she whispered. Mu nodded, and watched the captain bite her lip. He chuckled, and she started.

'You really are a mother, aren't you?' Her eyes widened, so he continued. 'He's lost, and you want to find him, somehow. But you have a ship to captain, and a part of him doesn't want to be found. Is that why you're so upset ... Murrue? You want to help him, to be a mother to him, but circumstances won't allow it. You can't help him the way you helped Kira.'

Her chestnut eyes were so wide it gave her the deer-in-a-headlight look. But that only served to make her more beautiful. Slowly she nodded, and then stood up and buried her head in his chest.

Athrun walked briskly down the corridor, wanting nothing more then to break into a run. Just to start running and stay going until he'd somehow managed to get away from this. Until he'd somehow gotten into a world where his mother was still alive, where he wasn't a soldier, and where Kira was still his friend.

But the rational part of his mind wouldn't allow it. Doing that wouldn't solve anything, which would only make him more upset, and it would also get him more lost then he already was. He sighed and slumped against the wall.

_Why didn't I just ask someone where the mess hall was? Sai told me to meet him there, so why didn't I just ask?_ _"Because you're..."_

He started out of his thoughts as two hands landed on either side of his head. His eyes shot open, and found himself staring at a face pushed close to his. Glancing around, he saw his exit blocked on either side by two other men.

'Awwww, is the coordinator lost?' one of the men mocked. He growled softly.

'Figure that out all by yourself, or were you handed the answer?' he asked, raising his eyebrows. The hand on his right left the wall and grabbed a handful of his hair, yanking his head back into the wall. He bit his thoung to stop any kind of cry leaving his lips.

'Listen here, you filthy little coordinator, I don't care what the captain says about you! You're against what God intended! And all you deserve is death! The captain and some of those younger idiots may trust you, but most of us don't! You don't deserve to be given the run of the ship!'

Athrun arched his eyebrows higher. 'Really? Well I'm sure the captain would be delighted to here that. Quite frankly, _I_ really don't care.' His head was jerked again.

'I had family on Heliopolis! And they didn't make it off!' the man screamed. Athrun started. That was a strange change of subject... He couldn't answer that, so he remained silent, averting his eyes. For some reason, that seemed to anger all three men, as he suddenly found himself crashing down onto the floor, landing hard on his back. The brusies on his body suddenly ignited in firey pain. He groaned softly and pushed himself into sitting position, glaring up at the men.

Something wet landed on his cheek.

His eyes widened in disgust as saliva made its steady way down his face. The man laughed. Clenching his fists, Athrun stood, standing like a soldier. His head was high, dignified. The man started as his "victim" suddenly seemed a lot more dangerous.

'I'll let you have that one,' Athrun said, his voice calm and almost good natured, 'But try it again and you won't live five minutes beyond it.'

The three men stepped back, then seemed to decide one coordinator wasn't a match for them and made to attack. The sound of running feet startled them all. Mirella Haw suddenly appeared between both parties, scowling.

'What are you doing?' she barked. Athrun stared at her as the men shuffled their feet nervously. The girl shook her head and turned. Her hand closed around his arm and she began steering him away. The men's growls rolled down the corridor.

'You gotta watch what you're doing. Many people here are still anti-coordinator. They won't hesitate to make their beliefs known.'

Athrun sighed. 'I think I figured that out.' Milly giggled slightly and pulled out a tissue. Athrun started as she gently wiped his face, being careful not to apply pressure to the still healing cut. She smiled as his eyes widened. Then raised her eyebrows as they suddenly glimmered with tears. He looked away.

'They speak of Heliopolis... as if... as if we attacked first. As if they never did anything like it. As if they didn't realise what building Mobile suits there would do. And as if we didn't feel remorse for making that attack.'

Milly sighed and cupped his face, pulling his eyes back onto her. 'Be that as it may, it still happened, and civilians still still died.' His eyes blazed.

'Don't you think I know that! Don't you think I understand exactly what I've done. Don't you realise how much that hurt because it was so much like Junius Seven! I heard my mother screaming watching that place fall! But they... they act as if... as if...?'

He stopped as she wound her arms around his neck and held him close. 'I know, OK? I understand. But they don't. They don't,' she whispered, and sank down to her knees, willing him to fall as well. He did, tears falling down his face. 'Why won't they let me speak to my father?' he sobbed. Milly didn't answer.

Sai watched Milly and Athrun, an ache building up in his chest. He probably should've realised... should've known... Milly understood, at least in some way, what Athrun was going through. Plus, she was female... But... but... His hands closed around Athrun's dog tags, and he turned to walk away.

Well? Sorry again for not updating for so long. Please R&R?


	10. Collison

Um, I'm just gonna hide under the computer table until you put down the pitchforks. They down? Right, OK. Look, I'm really sorry bout not updating! My evil little plotbunny ran away, and then refused to work! ARGHHHHH! It's so annoying! Anywayz, I'm finally starting the real relationship with Sai and Athrun, and well, Kira's on his way to getting his redeeming moment. Hope ya enjoy!

Chapter 10: Collison

Kira noted the tension the moment he stepped into the mess hall. Everyone was unnaturaly quiet, their gazes fixed on the door. They all knew Athrun was going to walk in. They all knew Athrun was going to sit amongst them. They all knew he was a member of the ZAFT military.

Kira sighed and wove his way through the tables, heading for the one Sai was sitting at. The blonde boy's eyes were focused on the table and he seemed upset. And Kira knew why instantly. Milly and Athrun were on their way to the mess hall ... together. Sai had just gotten his feelings shoved back in his face ... for a second time. Two times he'd fallen in love, and both those times two of his best friends had stolen the object of his affection. Kira felt his insides squirm guiltily. He needed to say something comforting.

"Hey, Sai," he muttered, trying to sound at least a small bit understanding. The older boy lifted his eyes and turned to focus on Kira's face. The minute he did, though, his eyes widened and then grew angry. The new 'couple' had chosen this moment to walk into the mess hall. Milly glanced around, searching for them. She smiled and offered them a small wave once she'd found them, and then proceeded to lead Athrun over. Several dirty looks were thrown at the young coordinator, which Athrun seemed to be making a point of ignoring. Kira saw Sai clench his fists under the table.

Upon arriving, both teens made to sit next to Sai. Kira caught Milly's wrist. She turned to him, confusion written across her features. He shook his head and gestured to the chair next to him. The girl shrugged and sat down.

"Y'know," she whispered, "I was trying to make him sit next to you. You really need to talk." Kira shook his head.

"Those two need to talk as well. And ... we kinda do too..." Milly's blue eyes widened with confusion.

"Really? Why? I ... well ... Tolle is not something I want to discuss. Not here and not in front of him." She jerked her head at Athrun. Luckly, neither Sai nor Athrun noticed. Kira smiled grimly.

"'Him' is exactly why I want to talk to you. I need to ask you, how do you feel about him?" For some reason, Milly looked angry.

"Is that all?" she spat. "Are you going to accuse me of ruining Sai's relationship with Flay next? Do you honestly think I'd make a move on Athrun, when it's obvious Sai likes him. And, though I've found out he's not all bad, are you forgetting that Athrun just happens to be the one who killed Tolle! I don't know what happened to you after you went MIA, Kira, but things changed a lot around here. People changed. We grew a lot closer! I'd never hurt Sai like that!"

Kira sat frozen in his chair, the part of him not shocked mananging to marvel at the fact that Milly had managed to say all that in a whisper. The rest of him felt somewhat hurt. For one thing, Milly had brought up the subject of Flay, a rather sore spot. And secondly, all he'd done was care about Sai as well. It wasn't her right to jump to such conclusions.

He opened his mouth to retort, when a soft laugh cut through the air. Both he and Milly spun round. Athrun was laughing. Really laughing. Sai looked vaguely stunned, but otherwise thrilled. Kira felt his heart grow lighter. Sai had made Athrun laugh! But another part of him felt jealous. There was a time when he could've done that. When Athrun would've laughed at every funny thing he said. At every funny face he made. A part of him suddenly hated Sai.

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Sai could barely breath when Athrun smiled, and felt his heart almost stop when Athrun had laughed. The sound was wonderful. It was the first time Sai had ever heard him laugh, and he'd done it. He'd made Athrun Zala laugh! But, after about five seconds, he remembered Athrun hugging Milly. The closeness they seemed to have. The fact he'd wanted Milly to talk to, and not him.

Anger flooded back and suddenly he couldn't bare to look at the gleeful spark in Athrun's eyes. He swung his gaze back onto the near empty plate in front of him. He could see Athrun's sudden look of confusion even without looking at him. What he didn't see was the hand reaching out to grip his. The sensation of Athrun's marble skin on his was a jolt and his gaze instantly jerked back to the bluenette's face.

Athrun did look confused, but there was also understanding written across his face.

"You're upset about something," Athrun whispered, and it wasn't a question. Green eyes burned into his blue ones, demanding an answer. Green eyes burning so brightly in the war damaged face. So wild and untamable. Eyes that had reminded Sai of a tiger on their first talk. Eyes that had captivated him, drawn him into their spell, eyes that he had grown to love.

Suddenly, he couldn't stand it. He didn't care about Milly's feelings anymore, he didn't care about how the rest of the room would react. He gripped Athrun's face and pressed their lips together. He could feel Athrun stiffen with shock. He could almost see those green eyes widen. He pulled back without giving the younger boy time to assess the situation. Athrun's eyes looked even more beautiful when shocked. He couldn't stand to look at them. Grabbing Athrun's hand, he pushed the dogtags back into their owners possession.

"Upset? No, I'm not upset, love who you want!" And he ran, before Athrun could respond.

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Athrun stayed where he was, white and confused, gazing after Sai. Every eye in the room was on him. He needed to get out of here, so much attention was suffocating. He pushed past Kira, barely noting the fact that the brunette was on his feet as well, and began the task of getting past the closely packed tables. He didn't get more than two paces before someone stood up to obstruct him.

Two hands landed on his chest and, since he hadn't been expecting it, the harsh shove forced him back a step. Several other people had stood up as well, forming a tight circle around him. He glanced around, trying to force his mind to function. He didn't succeed, and didn't manage to duck the blow aiming for his head.

White spots appeared in front of his eyes, and he couldn't move for a second. He saw Kira struggle through the group, but ignored him. He ignored him because he could also see Sai re-enter the room. Sai hadn't gone that far. Sai wanted to talk to him...

Well? Whatcha think? Please R&R?


	11. Bittersweet kiss

Hi again! Well, what can I say? Well, for one thing, this chapter mentions a lot about God, and I hope nobody takes offense to what I say. I really don 't mean any of it, take my word on that. Also, this is the last time Athrun loses his head. He's gonna start returning to normal fairly soon, promise. Thirdly, this is the start of the relationship between Sai and Athrun, which is actually really fun to write. And forthly, and perhapes most importantly, thanks to all the wonderful reviewers! You guys make writing this story worth while! Thank you all so much!

Chapter 11: Bitter-sweet kiss

_We satisfy our endless needs_

_And justify our bloody deeds_

_In the name of destiny_

_And in the name of God..._

_(The Eagles: The last resort.)_

"You stupid coordinator! You exist because of science! Because we played our hand and made you, you don't deserve to exist if we say you don't!..." "You're against what God intended! He intended for life to be born, not fabricated! "...You don't deserve to exist!"

Words of hate and blows raining down on him. He honestly should have been used to it. A lot of the time, whenever he went out when he was younger on the moon, much the same phrases came from all sides, he should have known... He should have stayed in his room... He shouldn't be here, surrounded on all sides by the racists who'd killed his mother... He just wanted to get out of here, he didn't care about Sai anymore. Why couldn't they just let him leave?

"You're against what God intented, you filthy little coordinator!" The blow the man dealt him caught him unawares and threw him backwards, sending him crashing over a table. He lay there, stunned, for several seconds, tasting blood in his mouth. Sai's voice was yelling something, but he didn't listen ...

_"Do you believe in God?" "I guess they just want to think they have one common father who'll protect them." "Because they're afraid of us." _

_"I don't think I believe in God, father. I believe in you..."_

_Against what God intented? I can't be against the will of someone I know doesn't exist... Don't you know, God is dead..._

Slowly, ignoring the pain that had flared anew in his body, he rose and faced the man who had last spoken. And then, with a movement so fluid even he was surpried, he rammed his elbow into the man's throat and pushed him back into the wall. The man's eyes widened with disbelief and anger, the footsteps of several other people sounded behind him, vicious insults filling the growing silence. But he made his voice carry over all of them, a trick he'd learned in the army, though he kept it as calm as he could.

"God, huh? God doesn't exist! And even if he does, then it's murderous bastards like you that are against what God intended!" He increased the pressure on the man's throat, and the angry eyes only inches from his bulged as the man's air supply was cut off. He smiled grimly. "You spoke to me eariler of Heliopolis, you said you're family didn't make it off." There was silence behind him now, only one person appeared to be moving, but he was ignored. "You told me that it was mine and my army's fault, and I can't fault you on that. Know that I'm truly sorry." A hiss of anger burst from the soldier and he raised his hand in an attempt to force Athrun off him. It didn't work. "I am. Believe it or not, that's your choice! But I can't say the same for you! If you were truly sorry for the massacre that you commited, you wouldn't have said all those things to me!"

He could hear his voice rising and hysteria becoming imbedded in his words. His composure started to fray as anger and helplessness clouded his senses! "Heliopolis was a mistake! Was Junius Seven? You and your people murdered so many of my people, and set off the chain of events that caused the war. If you didn't want people to die, then you should have just thought about controlling your own hatred, you bastard!" There, it was offical, he was hysterical. The man seemed to be choking under the pressure he was asserting, but he didn't care. He didn't care about anything anymore, if the man died that was fine, he seemed so powerless to stop anyone from dying these days. The man was pushing uselessly on his chest, trying to get away from him.

"ATHRUN, STOP! You're killing him!" He didn't even get a chance to look around before someone grabbed both his arms and pulled him backwards. The rational part of his mind cowered away at the back as he lost whatever control he'd previously had. His started struggling viciously, words of hate he'd never thought he'd say spilling from his mouth.

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Kira coudn't believe what he was hearing, and, from the look on Sai and Milly's faces, they couldn't either. He wanted to believe it wasn't Athrun Zala saying these things. He wanted to believe it wasn't Athrun Zala struggling in his arms, screaming and crying so hard he could barely breathe. He wanted to believe it, because the Athrun Zala he knew was calm, gentle, understanding and artistic. Unnaturally good at everything and with fingers so nimble and gentle they could write on a grain of rice. Athrun Zala was quiet, Athrun Zala didn't cry, Athrun Zala did not hate people the way this person proclaimed to.

He wanted to believe it, but he knew he couldn't. It was Athrun Zala that had drawn thin lines of shock across every face in the room, mingling with anger on some. It was Athrun Zala wishing them all painfull deaths like the one's they'd dealt innocent civilians. It was Athrun Zala, but it wasn't. Athrun Zala, the war-torn and grief fuelled version. And he wanted his Athrun back. The one that had once said that he cried enough for the two of them. The one that smiled.

"And if that's the way you feel then you should have died at Alaska!"

Now he'd gone too far ... even Kira took a step backwards. The silence was deafening, and it seemed to be a good ten seconds before Athrun realised just what he'd said. His green eyes widened and he lowered his head. But he didn't apolgise, he didn't say another word. The tears fell harder and he wrapped his arms around himself, but he didn't say anything. Kira didn't move towards him, memories of the carnage of Alaska playing across his field of vision. He shook his head, trying to rid himself of the images. Trying to force himself back to present because people were starting to move towards Athrun, looks of unlimited anger on their faces. Athrun was in danger. He started moving forward, trying to block out the last thing Athrun had said.

Nobody got any further then two steps, because at that moment Captain Ramius walked in. Her brown eyes widened when the mess of the room made itself known to her, and she started running towards the center of the circle of soldiers demanding to know what had happened on the way. No-one told her, all the strength and anger seemed to have left the room. All she saw was Athrun in the middle of the circle on his knees, green eyes filled with tears and enough anger to make them evaporate on his face. Blood ran in a cool trickle from the corner of his mouth, and he seemed to have aquired several new cuts. A cynical smile curled on his lips and he held his bloody wrists out to her.

"I'm the coordinator, I guess you'll blame me. Slap on the cuffs, then..."

He said it so calmly. That coupled with the smile and the blood made the whole effect rather eerie. She stared at him for several seconds then turned her head away to call for Mu. Tears were building in her eyes and a sob was rising in her throat. She swallowed it, started shouting out orders for everyone in the room to report to her in half an hour, and then told them to get out of her sight. Nobody said anything as they left, nobody even looked up from their own feet. She caught Sai by the elbow as he was walking past her.

He turned to her, his orange glasses not quite hiding the tears that had built up in his eyes. She offered him a slight smile, then jerked her head at Athrun, who had managed to get his feet under him. "Take him to the infirmary, and don't let him out of your sight. Somebody just might kill him if he's caught alone," she whispered. Sai nodded and walked to Athrun, seizing him by the upper arm and guiding him out of the room. Murrue watched them go, and added in an undertone: "Or he might kill someone else." Turning to the wreckage in front of her, she swallowed and started picking things up.

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Athrun was still letting him lead the way, and he didn't try to fight Sai off. If anything, he seemed to move closer and walk beside him, rather then be dragged behind. He still walked with a kind of silent pride, and he still oozed confidence, but it seemed like looking through a cracked mirror. The image was there, only fragmented. Athrun stayed silent, seemingly oblivious to the looks he was getting on all sides. No-one was buying it, or no-one seemed to. It was fear of what had just happened that kept their mouths shut. Including Athrun's. It was only when they were alone in the infirmary did Athrun actually open his mouth again, and he spoke like he was spitting out the shards of his broken image."I'm sorry..."

Two words Sai had gotten too used to hearing, and he answered in the two words he'd gotten too used to saying. "For what?"

Athrun gave a harsh chuckle at that, blood dribbling down his chin. "Oh, don't talk like that! You know very well for what!"

They stood frozen in that stand off for several seconds, before Sai moved and began to wipe the blood of Athrun's face. And Athrun's strong but oh so gentle hand raised and wrapped around his. Sai froze, Athrun looked straight into his eyes. "I wasn't exactly a saint today. I said somethings that I know I'm going to be made regret, if not by the racist bastards, then by you." Sai froze, and stared at him, far to stunned to speak. Athrun seemed to correctly interperit his silence, though, and continued. "I wished death upon this entire ship, and that included you, and Milly, and Kira, and some others that I don't really want to see die. But ... I ... I ... well, Sai, um ... you kissed me today ... and, if you died ... would I ever get to ... find out ... why ..."

Athrun flushed, his face becoming so red that the distinction between blood and blush was lost, and ducked his head to avoid looking into Sai's eyes. Sai didn't really know what to say, instead he forced Athrun to sit on a bed and then made to go and get the doctor.

"You're not going to tell me then?" Athrun asked the words so softly, and with such a genuine innocence imbedded in his voice that Sai stopped and turned to him. Athrun was looking at him through his wild, untamed eyes, his face streaked with blood and tears. He looked like the war child he really was, and Sai couldn't stand to see him looking that way. He sighed, and took a step towards Athrun, swallowing the lump that had risen in his throat. Green eyes stared at him, no longer demanding an answer, but pleading for one.

"Sai, please..."

The words were whispered, and the softness of Athrun's voice flowed around him like music. Athrun had such a beautiful voice ... one not meant for begging. And the words gushed from his mouth before he could really think about just what he was saying.

"I kissed you because it was the only way to tell you how I felt. I came back because you deserved an explanation. I was so cold because I thought you'd fallen for Milly. So. That's it. Anything else while I'm baring my soul?" He spoke to the light above their heads rather than to Athrun, so he didn't see the movement in front of him. He didn't notice the change in the silence around him. He only really noticed when Athrun's lips were on his, soft and hesitant. Nervous. Shy, but with the defiance Sai had grown used to when speaking to Athrun. He felt his eyes widen, and a harsh sorrow rip through his heart. Athrun's lips tasted of blood, of battle, and of too many unshed tears. The half healed and gaping wounds that made up Athrun's soul made the taste of his lips so bitter-sweet, made them warm, and strangly defiant, like the embers of a dying fire. A fading light refusing to stop giving all the warmth and comfort it can.

He tasted dead and alive, elegant and broken all in the same moment. It was terrible and beautiful all in one. Sai couldn't bring himself to hate it, nor could he quite enjoy it. Terrible beauty, it seemed like a warning.

But Sai couldn't bring himself to heed it.

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Patrick Zala had never paticullarly liked earth, he hated the weight it seemed to have, and the unpredictable weather, but like hell he was sitting by in space at a time like this. Athrun needed him, and he'd promised to protect his son. No matter what.

_"I don't think I believe in God Father, I believe in you."_

_Well, believe in me for a little while longer, alright?_

Well? Well? Come on, cough up them reviews! Hope y'all enjoyed!


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